Grief
by Kipcha
Summary: Suzaku watched as the life bled from him. Lelouch vi Brittania, the tyrant that the world despised. Lelouch Lamparouge, the hero that the world would never know.


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I do not own Code Geass, nor the amazingness in animated form called Suzaku.

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His pulse quickened, ears ringing, his heart racing a mile per minute knowing that he would be the cause of stopping the one below him on the float. He forced his hands to stop quivering, his gaze solid and straight ahead. Watching him now, Suzaku understood how Lelouch had managed to fool so many into believing that he and Zero were two separate people. Had he been a part of the silent yet fierce crowd, he too would have believed that the Emperor before them had no idea what was coming. That soon, the sword that was in his very hand would pierce the life from him... That the assassination he himself had planned would be taking place in a matter of minutes...

Suzaku shook his head fiercely. Sure, he and Lelouch had somewhat managed to put the past behind them for their short-lived alliance as Knight of Zero and Emperor, but that did not mean that they were again best friends. Euphie's lifeless face swam before his minds eye, desperate to remind him that he was doing the world a favor. That he was not slaughtering someone that did not deserve to die. After all, it was Lelouch whom had come up with this plan to begin with. He had nothing to feel sorry or guilty for. Besides, shouldn't he be more worried about his own fate? He thought of his grave, how he would no longer be known as Suzaku, Knight of Zero, but instead Zero himself. The very figure whom he had despised and sworn to kill himself. He was sentenced to a life behind a mask. He was sentenced to something worse then death. He hated the boy on that throne, with that idiotic smirk on his face. He deserved to die. He was doing the world a favor.

No matter how much he reminded himself of this, it refused to calm the terrible pain in his chest.

There were many words that could be used to describe Lelouch. Intelligent, fiendish, vengeful, dangerous, desperate, determined, loyal enough to risk his life to save a friend he had not seen for seven years from execution...

He immediately got himself back on track. There were many words that described Lelouch vi Brittania. That was the man that sat on that throne. The man that was so full of cruelty and malice that he had the ability to force people in suicide by using his unnatural powers and command an entire army as if he were playing a simple game of chess. This was the man that had killed Euphie and was the cause of so many other deaths like Shirley's. Lelouch vi Brittania was an enemy to the people, Brittanian and Japanese alike.

However, what words would describe Lelouch Lamparouge?

Somehow, the words "sacrificial lamb" had never before entered his mind. Yet they rang resoundingly clear through his mind now.

He could still hear those words, ringing in his ears as Lelouch revealed his intentions. _"You have to kill me._" Such a calm, even tone. It made his stomach turn. He was no executioner.

Suzaku snarled. This fool, always forcing him to do things that he did not wish for. What made the sting even worse was that this time, no Geass was required.

_"We must stop the circle of hatred."_

Suzaku would not back down now. Not when they were both so close to achieving their goals. He refused to be the weak link in the chain. The one that did not have the strength to carry out the plan. He would succeed. He would save Japan from tyranny.

_"Hey, Suzaku, Geass power is similar to a wish, don't you think?"_

Euphemia. Shirley. They died because of this war and now Lelouch was offering him a way to avenge their deaths. He _would_ take it. For them, at least, he would make sure that they would not die in vain. Japan would be saved. The peaceful world that they all wished for would become a reality.

Steeling himself, forcing his quivering legs to move, he stood where Lelouch had instructed. It was mere seconds before he was spotted. He could practically feel the confusion pulsing through the air, the crowd and guards glancing back and forth between their Emporer and his supposed alias.

_"Zero?"_

_"But if Emporer Lelouch is here, who is that Zero?"_

_"Perhaps he came here to save us!"_

_"Hush, don't say such foolish things."_

However, Suzaku ignored them, focusing his sights on his target. Preparing to spring forward. He had to remind himself the the path to his destiny lay right in front of him. He couldn't turn around. No matter how badly he wanted to...

His body seemed to be perfectly aware of what it was supposed to be doing though, despite how unhelpful his mind was being, and it was mere seconds before he stood in front of Lelouch. Nightmares and the guards, child's play. Not that Orange really tried, like he seemed to know something he didn't himself. He ignored his thoughts though, knowing time would be running short now. He saw Lelouch reach towards the gun on his belt, his mouth forming words that he was unable to hear. His own had clenched around his sword, unsheathing it and disarming Lelouch who stood now it shock.

Damn, Lelouch really _was _a good actor.

He drew back the sword, his trained body moving in perfect, fluid motion. Something it had done thousands of times before. Today, he would kill Zero. He would avenge thousands of lost lives. He would complete his goal. He would save Japan. His father's goal would be realised.

So why did it all feel so wrong?

With all the will he had left, he plunged his sword, at first through empty air... And then directly through Lelouch. He had seen it, that triumphant grin on his face. It had appeared, just moments before he reached him. Because his plan was a success, no doubt. He always used people as pawns in his game of chess. And he was about to sacrifice his most important piece.

_"If a king does not lead, how can he expect his subordinates to follow?"_

Time froze. Suzaku gazed into the eyes of the boy whom he had befriended all those years ago. The boy he would have willingly given his life for. The boy who could barely climb the smallest of inclines when they would explore the woods. Whom had been abandoned by all those that he loved in know. The one whom had been stomped on and left to die by the world. Suzaku gazed into the eyes of Lelouch.

It was almost too easy, how simply his blade pierced. Like cutting butter. A clean and lethal blow. As expected from the Knight of Zero.

He didn't even notice it start. It didn't come slowly as tears should. There was no warning but suddenly, they were flowing heavier then he had ever experienced before. When Euphemia had perished, it was because he had not managed to save her in time. Someone else had taken her from him. He had cried, yes, but it was not long before the madness took him and convinced him that there was nothing he could no longer do but destroy Zero, and Brittania from the inside.

However, this... Was all his doing.

What would Euphemia think of her Knight now? He pondered coldly. I am nothing but an executioner... A murderer.

He was as low as a person could get.

He was in the process of murdering his best friend.

"L-Lelouch." He choked, attempting to hold himself together. He was beginning to fail at even that.

His voice came, weak and serene in his ear. "The punishment for what you've done shall be this then..."

He slid further into the sword, his weight resting on his shoulder. Not months ago, this action would have repulsed him. Now...

"You will live on. Always wearing that mask, serving as a Knight for justice and truth." His hand left his wound and instead went to the side of his mask, almost as if passing through and resting on his cheek. He ignored the streaks of red they left behind, focusing on the words being said. "You will no longer live as Suzaku Kururugi. You shall sacrifice the ordinary pleasures of your life for the benefit of the world... For eternity."

He forced his voice to remain solid, although nothing he did would control the tears that continued to race shamelessly down his cheeks. "This Geass, I do solemnly accept."

With every last bit of strength he had left, he removed his sword. The weight on his shoulder left him as Lelouch stumbled, turning away and falling heavily down the front of the float.

Vaguely, Suzaku heard the commotion that took place all around him. Screams, shouts, cheering, victory... But the one sound that he truly heard were the cries of Nunnally. He didn't know she could make sounds that loud. Her wails tore from her throat with raw emotion, her grief exposed for the world to see. For a moment, there was a flash of jealousy and fury. Nunnally forced Lelouch into this... Had she not been around, Lelouch could have simply survived with him. But instead, he had to leave to care for his sister... And here she was, perfectly capable of showing the emotions that now boiled and raged inside of him, and he could not allow even a shake of his shoulders as he silently sobbed. However, he swiftly banished these thoughts, quickly cleaning his sword of excess blood with a swift, aimless swing. He sheathed his weapon and allowed himself a moment of grief.

Lelouch vi Brittania. The tyrant that the world hated.

Lelouch Lamparouge. His best friend and the hero that the world would never know.

In silence, behind the mask that would forever on be his prison, Suzaku cried.


End file.
